Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
