Dual....:-)
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
