it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
