Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
