you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
