She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
