I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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