I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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