does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
