all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
