i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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