the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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