i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
