dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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