Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
