And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
