I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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