but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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