He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
