All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize