# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
