no you cant smoke seaweed
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
