do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The best revenge is premature balding
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
