sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
