...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
