She is in my trunk
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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