Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You can't motorboat a personality
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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