why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
