One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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