I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
