You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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