so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You can't special order awesome
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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