i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
