i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
