my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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