so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
