Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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