ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
