why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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