This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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