I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
