We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
