She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
