Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
