he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
