the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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