I think i peed on brittanys purse
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
