I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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