Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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