Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
