You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
