i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize