So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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