He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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