Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize