I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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