how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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