this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
