I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize